Local Hero Can Identify The Murderer As Soon As He’s Introduced On Screen

Helena, MT – Catherine Wilson has a gift, she claims. Wanting to make a difference in her community, the thirty-something is seeking to aid the local police in their duty: protecting the residents of Helena. Wilson claims to be able to identify whether or not a man is innocent or guilty the moment he appears on a TV show and begins to interact with the stars.

“Sometimes they want you to think it’s the boyfriend, but it’s almost always the on-the-fringe waiter that had a crush on the victim, who they only interviewed for a second,” Wilson explains. Having watched over 800 episodes of shows like Law and Order, Bones, Castle, Psych, Monk, The Mentalist, Wizards of Waverly Place and Law and Order Criminal Intent, she has become a self-proclaimed savant of identifying the responsible parties.

“Everyone knows it’s never the first suspect, or the most likely suspect. It tends to be the character you would second- or third-least suspect. But I am able to tell as soon as they shake the detective’s hand.”

It is unclear how Catherine thinks this ability would be of use to the police.

“The police have a murder or bank robbery to solve almost every three days. I can’t believe how much death is out on those streets. Crime never stops. Luckily it’s never gang-bangers or ruffians, but just plain old white people that get in over their heads. With so many murders and so few teams of two detectives – one male and one female who really should just get together – I feel that I can save them a lot of time and just be like, no, trust me, it’s actually the president of the eco-friendly company. I know, you wouldn’t think he would kill someone, and all the evidence points to his renegade brother. I’d be happy to help.”

Asked what her secret is, Wilson said it’s simply an observation of human interaction and an innate timing.

“The whole crime tends to be resolved right around the 51^st minute, if you are watching with commercials. So by around minute 47, if you are paying attention you can piece it all together in the rare situation that you can’t just tell by looking at the maid of honor that she really was the right girl for the now deceased groom.”

She is quick to pass on praise. “Listen, I’m not a hero,” she says. “The heroes are the men and women that fight crime in spite of their feelings for their partner, as well as the witnesses that come forth and share crucial 

information at the last possible moment. I’m just trying to do my part.”

In a surprise to no one, Catherine Wilson owns and cares for three cats.